A Therapeutic Journey of Art and Self- Discovery
When I began creating the Brutalist Mannequins series, I didn’t realize I was starting a visual journal. It was rooted in a decades-long struggle with anxiety and depression. The work took shape in the aftermath of a six-month psychological crisis that began in February 2019. At the time, I was simply trying to find a way through the darkness.
It wasn’t until about a year after the series was completed that something unexpected happened. I looked at the full body of work again, only the second time I had done so, and I saw something I hadn’t intended. Alongside the story of my mental health journey, I had also, without realizing it, narrated the quiet unraveling of a 12-year relationship.
That part of the story wasn’t something I planned to share. But it came through anyway. My subconscious had clearly found its own way to process the emotional weight of that ending, and it surfaced through the work.
Brutalist Mannequins became more than an art series. It was a form of catharsis. A way to navigate what I was feeling and, eventually, begin to make sense of it. It’s also an invitation for others to reflect on their own emotional landscapes through the lens of shared human experience.
Each piece acts like a marker. Together, they trace the path through mental and emotional struggle, personal loss, and the slow work of healing.
BM1 – Falling Apart Together (2020)
The phrase is a contradiction, which is exactly how it felt. Things were starting to break down, but there was still a shared effort to hold it all together.
BM2 – Anger. Hostility Towards the Opposition. (2020)
This one captures the intensity of emotional conflict. The “opposition” might be the outside world, or it might be what lives in your own mind.
BM3 – I Am Who I Am (2020)
A turning point. A moment of self-acceptance and identity, where I began to own my place in the story.
BM4 – Get Out of My ⱧɆ₳Đ! (2020)
A clear expression of what it’s like when your thoughts won’t stop. It speaks to the exhaustion of living in a mind that won’t quiet down.
BM5 – Seeing Red Again (2020)
A return to anger and frustration. These emotions came in waves, repeating throughout both my mental health experience and the collapse of the relationship.
BM6 – Tearing Me Up: How You See Me (2020)
This piece is about perception. The feeling of being misread or misunderstood by someone close, and the pain that creates.
BM7 – Tearing Me Up: How I Feel (2020)
A companion to BM6, turned inward. It reflects the emotional chaos that doesn’t always get seen by others.
BM8 – I Want to Break Free (2020)
This one captured the need for escape. Whether from the relationship, the anxiety, the depression, or maybe all of it at once.
BM9 – Remember that Time When We (2020)
This one captured the need for escape. Whether from the relationship, the anxiety, the depression, or maybe all of it at once.
BM10 – Loneliness Can Be Beautiful (2020)
This piece represents the shift in how I saw solitude. Not as isolation, but as space for clarity and growth.
BM11 – Imagine, A Future Without You (2020)
A quiet imagining of what comes next. The beginning of understanding that a different future is still a future.
BM12 – Goodbye, My Love: A ReGenesis (2020)
Closure, and a beginning. This piece carries the pain of parting and the quiet strength that comes with starting again.
BM13 – Pleasure (2022)
This marked a new phase. A return to joy and presence. A soft but meaningful reward after a long stretch of emotional weight.